Do You? Well...No.

Now Playing: I'd Lie by Taylor Swift (Yes its another T-Swift song. Shush!)

So I think you need to listen to this song. Its my new favorite. I'm feeling pretty down at the moment, thinking about the boy, and this song...honestly, it made me cry. A few times. So! I feel the need to vent. Let it out. So I made a list of everything I could say about him and I wrote down 37 things. I could have done a few more but I didnt want to go on. I was going to use that as the rest of this post but you dont want to read that so heres my version of Taylors chorus(it doesnt entirely rhyme...):

I could tell you:
His favorite colors blue,
He loves to argue,
Born on the 19th.

His brothers adorable,
In 5th grade his cousin died,
Bt if you ask me if I love him....
I'd lie.

Well I feel a little better. Some of my old habits are trying to come back but Im not going to do that! I wish he had given it a chance. I hate having regrets and I try as much as possible to resolve them but this time...I cant. Im not The Doctor. I dont have a TARDIS. I cant go back in time and change it. I really wish I could though.

Im the kind of person who daydreams like crazy. I sort of...imagine what could happen in the best (and somtimes worst) possible scenario. I think thats part of where my anxiety comes from because Im always in the future. My dad says "depression comes from too much past and anxiety comes from too much futre. You want to be in the present". When/before we were together, in that time when everything was really good and working out the way I wanted it too, I wasnt daydreaming as much because reality was enough for me. Therefore, I didnt have an anxiety. Well now Im daydreaming a lot more to sort of "escape" reality so Im having some mroe anxiety problems. Wow Im rambling a lot....sorry! Off to bed for me.



harry.potter.dreams,

{as.sane.as.me}

She'll Never Know Your Story Like I Do

Now playing: You Belong With Me by Taylor Swift

I promise not every song I do will be by Taylor Swift but right now shes singing the soundtrack of my life. For this Im going to do a line by line/verse by verse breakdown for you guys. Here goes nothing...

You're on the phone with your girlfriend, She's upset
She's going off about something that you said
She doesnt get your humour like I do
His girlfriend (now ex) is crazy. Shes always upset about something and they have nothing in common.

I'm in the room, its a typical Tuesday night
Oh Tuesdays....this sounds so weird but everything always seemed to happen on Tuesdays.
I'm listening to the kind of music she doesnt like
We have the same taste in music. We both love country. She doesnt.
And she'll never know your story like I do
I've known him since 5th grade. We have been friends forever and she will never be friends with him like I was because...it just wouldnt work.

Ok Im bored with this and its depressing me so! Im going to stop. Lets talk a little about yesterday.

Yesterday was my birthday! It was really fun. I got a pentacle necklace from my dad and its so pretty! It has a triple goddess sign on the bottom of the pentacle which is what I really wanted. The AcDec dinner was really fun and the cake was great. The game was a blowout again and the dance was dramatic. He wasnt supposed to be there! He was supposed to be working. I hate him for what he did to Millie.

I cant believe she likes him (not related to the last paragraph). I dont know what I would do if they got back together. Well actually I do know, I would cry. A lot. imissyou.

Peace.Love&HarryPotter

{as.sane.as.me}






Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmania.com/you_belong_with_me_lyrics_taylor_swift.html

Im Not A Princess

White Horse-Taylor Swift

Yup, thats my song right now. Why you ask? Well let me tell you.

Every time I look at the clock at 11:11 or 12:34 or I blow a dandylion or I make a wish on a fallen eyelash I make the same wish. Every time. I wish for Prince Charming. Well guess what? Im not a princess, this is not a fairytale. Sadly I still really like the boy but he is not Prince Charming. I honestly did believe in him. Stupid girl, I should have known. I was a dreamer before you went and let me down. Really, I was. I dreamed big but now I dont believe in those dreams anymore.

Enough of this madness! I have good news!

Tomorrow is my birthday! I just had dinner with my mom and stepdad and they gave me my birthday present. Its a brand new Nikon Coolpix digital camera! They already charged it and got me a memory card. I will be taking so many pictures tomorrow. But tomorrow isnt just my birthday....its also homecoming! So my plan for the day is as follows:

1) Get up at an absurd hour to get ready for school. I have no quizes to take in AcDec:)
2) Go to the rest of my classes-Pre-AP bio, Adv. Algebra 2, and Pre-AP english. During my math class we have an assembly!
3) After school my father shall pick me up and take me home. Heres where the fun starts.
4) Freshen up after a loooong day at school then go back to school at 5 for an AcDec dinner. Im bringing cake:)
5) Go to the homecoming game and dance!
6) Jen, Amelia (maybe), and Jordan are spending the night. Part-ayyy!

So those are my plans. Im excited! Oh, I almost forgot. Tomorrow is Wild Wild West Day so I get to wear my boots and hat and such. Also, Im going to try to talk to the boy. Maybe we can be friends. I miss him a lot.

Peace.Love&HarryPotter,

{as.sane.as.me}

Ch-ch-ch-changes!

Well it has been a mighty long time since I've posted! Im going to be changing this blog up a little (if any of my 5 followers care....). Starting now I will be writing the soundtrack to my life. At the top of every post I will have a song title and author; this will be the song that describes my like at the moment. I will then go on to explain why and rant about the meaningless and trivial events in my life. Just thought I would write a quick explanation of whats going on. I will be making an official post soooooon!

Hello Crazy Person, My Name Is Insanity.

So, I finally just had a breakdown. Big shocker. Well to someone reading this it might be but Im not surprised. Im such a mess all the time. So over the past few days little things have been building up and stressing me out; my mom leaving on her trip, my grandparents are crazy people, Riley, my phone getting screwed up, and so one and so forth! The final straw was my dad flipping out at the cell phone guy when I was trying to get my phone fixed. When he dropped me off at home and was apologizing I lost it. First it was just crying but then I tried to talk which brought on the hyperventilation and then I was sobbing and hyperventilating at the same time. Woo! My dad starts going into his new age-y "be with the feeling, be there for it" crap and that made me mad because I hate when he talks about all that stuff. I love new age ideas and such but for some reason when my dad talks about it I get annoyed. Finally I calm down and he makes me read some "Essential Spirituality" book. To top it all off he makes me meditate with him. Yeah. I was mad at that point and just wanted him to leave but of course he doesnt. I wasnt actually meditating when he was guiding me but whatever. At last he leaves and I go back to being my normal, insane self.

On another note, I dont think I want a relationship with...you know. Him. I just think its a bad idea.

The sky looks like it might rain down on our dry old town. I sure hope it does because, as you know, rain is a good sign.



Peace.Love&HarryPotter

{as.sane.as.me}


P.S. Im watching Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Thats my favorite:)

I Think Im Falling For You...♥

Oh my, I like this guy. (Not anyone in my last post)

Thats all I have to say on that.

I had such a great 4th of July but I would rather talk about last year. Last years, on the 3rd of July I was in Phoenix with my dads side of the family. My uncle was getting sicker and sicker, closer and closer to dieing. He had cancer and the doctors pretty much said he wouldnt make it. We were staying in a big house my other uncle and aunt had rented for us and we were having a great time; playing games, swimming in the huge pool, playing music, the works. We were playing Apples to Apples when we heard the fireworks outside. Everyone rushed to the door and we watched the fireworks while standing in the middle of the street. It started to rain, I started to cry. Im terrible at hiding tears. I was so sure that he would die. All I could think was, "What if this is the last time I see him?" Well I was right, but it wasnt the last time. It was the second to last. So this year, on the 3rd of July, as we drove to Tubac to watch the fireworks, I couldnt hold back the tears. Even though I still miss the way my family was before and I miss my uncle Im glad I have this memory of the way things used to be.

Peace.Love&HarryPotter

{as.sane.as.me}

Welcome to the Crazy Train

I havent made a post in a very long time. I have a lot to say. In just a few hours I went from having no guy problems whatsoever to having crazy problems.

First, theres a really cute guy who works at the Greek restaurant I like. The first time I went there after AcDec he kept giving me these...looks. A lot. Amelia saw it too! When we were walking to the bathroom he was walking the opposite way and he gave me the look. Amelia and I just looked at eachother like "What was that?!". Its was sort of a half smile/twitch thing.

Amelia and I went back again today and he was there. He gave me a real smile. When we went order I dropped my change all over the floor. Classy...But I we talked. A little.

Me-"Hey, you were here last time!"
"Yeah." Smile/cute look.

Yeah I know that seems lame and pretty normal but you had to have been there.

He kept smiling at me :). Then when I left he said bye and smiled at me like 3 different times! But it doesnt really matter because I think hes older than me. I think is a good time to mention that I do not like my age.

Second problem, Tristin. You should check my Polyvore (see the banner at top) to see the entire story but basicly...he told me he loves me. I dont like him. Why do I attract crazy people?! Jason is obsessed with me and Tristin loves me? What?? This makes no sense.

Im starting to sound like some stupid boy obsessed girl so I better sign off now.


Peace.Love&HarryPotter

{as.sane.as.me}