Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Need to write something.

If I dont post something now I never will.

Well...I dont have much to say.

I cant believe I was actually sad for winter break to start because "I wouldnt get to see him for two weeks". Im fine now. And Im not lying. Its not that fine where Im just saying it so you will shut up and leave me alone because Im really dieing inside. No, its not like that anymore. Im actually fine. Slowly but surely getting over it. That pain in the center of my chest hat threatens to tear me apart when I think about him has come for a while. I think I know why. Oh my.....

Well there. Thats a decent post.

Happy Yuletide!



Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Theres a little cotton dress, hanging in my sisters closer. I think Im going to borrow it and wear it this weekend!

Now Playing: Wildflower by The JaneDear Girls

This is my song. Why? Because of 1 line...."And I drive an old, rusted out, Chevrolet. The boys all rubber-neck while they're out making hey!"

I may not be able to drive yet but I LOVE my truck! I have a '62 Chevy truck that used to be my grandfathers. He gave it to my uncle to drive when he was in high school. Its been sitting in my grandparents yard since the 70's so my uncle said I get to drive it while Im in high school! Its blue and the paint job is pretty good. Ill have to upload a picture sometime.

This song describes a country girl and, even though not very many people know this, Im deffinitly a country girl at heart! I love the chorus

"Hey, Im a wildflower, growing in the sunshine.
Soaking up the way of life, I was raised in
Running barefoot, bloomin' in the summer shower,
Ponytail dancing, I cant help it, Im a wildflower."

Thats all for now folks!



Lyrics from:

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Do You? Well...No.

Now Playing: I'd Lie by Taylor Swift (Yes its another T-Swift song. Shush!)

So I think you need to listen to this song. Its my new favorite. I'm feeling pretty down at the moment, thinking about the boy, and this song...honestly, it made me cry. A few times. So! I feel the need to vent. Let it out. So I made a list of everything I could say about him and I wrote down 37 things. I could have done a few more but I didnt want to go on. I was going to use that as the rest of this post but you dont want to read that so heres my version of Taylors chorus(it doesnt entirely rhyme...):

I could tell you:
His favorite colors blue,
He loves to argue,
Born on the 19th.

His brothers adorable,
In 5th grade his cousin died,
Bt if you ask me if I love him....
I'd lie.

Well I feel a little better. Some of my old habits are trying to come back but Im not going to do that! I wish he had given it a chance. I hate having regrets and I try as much as possible to resolve them but this time...I cant. Im not The Doctor. I dont have a TARDIS. I cant go back in time and change it. I really wish I could though.

Im the kind of person who daydreams like crazy. I sort of...imagine what could happen in the best (and somtimes worst) possible scenario. I think thats part of where my anxiety comes from because Im always in the future. My dad says "depression comes from too much past and anxiety comes from too much futre. You want to be in the present". When/before we were together, in that time when everything was really good and working out the way I wanted it too, I wasnt daydreaming as much because reality was enough for me. Therefore, I didnt have an anxiety. Well now Im daydreaming a lot more to sort of "escape" reality so Im having some mroe anxiety problems. Wow Im rambling a lot....sorry! Off to bed for me.



Saturday, October 9, 2010

She'll Never Know Your Story Like I Do

Now playing: You Belong With Me by Taylor Swift

I promise not every song I do will be by Taylor Swift but right now shes singing the soundtrack of my life. For this Im going to do a line by line/verse by verse breakdown for you guys. Here goes nothing...

You're on the phone with your girlfriend, She's upset
She's going off about something that you said
She doesnt get your humour like I do
His girlfriend (now ex) is crazy. Shes always upset about something and they have nothing in common.

I'm in the room, its a typical Tuesday night
Oh Tuesdays....this sounds so weird but everything always seemed to happen on Tuesdays.
I'm listening to the kind of music she doesnt like
We have the same taste in music. We both love country. She doesnt.
And she'll never know your story like I do
I've known him since 5th grade. We have been friends forever and she will never be friends with him like I was just wouldnt work.

Ok Im bored with this and its depressing me so! Im going to stop. Lets talk a little about yesterday.

Yesterday was my birthday! It was really fun. I got a pentacle necklace from my dad and its so pretty! It has a triple goddess sign on the bottom of the pentacle which is what I really wanted. The AcDec dinner was really fun and the cake was great. The game was a blowout again and the dance was dramatic. He wasnt supposed to be there! He was supposed to be working. I hate him for what he did to Millie.

I cant believe she likes him (not related to the last paragraph). I dont know what I would do if they got back together. Well actually I do know, I would cry. A lot. imissyou.



Lyrics from:

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Im Not A Princess

White Horse-Taylor Swift

Yup, thats my song right now. Why you ask? Well let me tell you.

Every time I look at the clock at 11:11 or 12:34 or I blow a dandylion or I make a wish on a fallen eyelash I make the same wish. Every time. I wish for Prince Charming. Well guess what? Im not a princess, this is not a fairytale. Sadly I still really like the boy but he is not Prince Charming. I honestly did believe in him. Stupid girl, I should have known. I was a dreamer before you went and let me down. Really, I was. I dreamed big but now I dont believe in those dreams anymore.

Enough of this madness! I have good news!

Tomorrow is my birthday! I just had dinner with my mom and stepdad and they gave me my birthday present. Its a brand new Nikon Coolpix digital camera! They already charged it and got me a memory card. I will be taking so many pictures tomorrow. But tomorrow isnt just my birthday....its also homecoming! So my plan for the day is as follows:

1) Get up at an absurd hour to get ready for school. I have no quizes to take in AcDec:)
2) Go to the rest of my classes-Pre-AP bio, Adv. Algebra 2, and Pre-AP english. During my math class we have an assembly!
3) After school my father shall pick me up and take me home. Heres where the fun starts.
4) Freshen up after a loooong day at school then go back to school at 5 for an AcDec dinner. Im bringing cake:)
5) Go to the homecoming game and dance!
6) Jen, Amelia (maybe), and Jordan are spending the night. Part-ayyy!

So those are my plans. Im excited! Oh, I almost forgot. Tomorrow is Wild Wild West Day so I get to wear my boots and hat and such. Also, Im going to try to talk to the boy. Maybe we can be friends. I miss him a lot.




Well it has been a mighty long time since I've posted! Im going to be changing this blog up a little (if any of my 5 followers care....). Starting now I will be writing the soundtrack to my life. At the top of every post I will have a song title and author; this will be the song that describes my like at the moment. I will then go on to explain why and rant about the meaningless and trivial events in my life. Just thought I would write a quick explanation of whats going on. I will be making an official post soooooon!